Miguel has landed on a fan in the crowd. Balls to the face landed. Why did I laugh so hard ? Shame on these award shows.

theofficenbc:

8/37 wise words of Michael Scott

(via rochestercrack)

-I’ll play the lady card.

- Race card.

- Lazy drunk card.

- Deserves the spot card.

(via stewarter)

Timestamp: 1361734900

-I’ll play the lady card.

- Race card.

- Lazy drunk card.

- Deserves the spot card.

(via stewarter)

I’m there whenever she needs someone. I’m there to comfort her when she’s crying. I’m there when she needs someone to move her stuff out of her dorm. I’m there when she needs someone to fix her printer. I’m there when she doesn’t want to eat alone. I’m tending to her every need. I’m her girlfriend without the rewards.

I want the goddamn rewards.

Timestamp: 1357360698

I’m there whenever she needs someone. I’m there to comfort her when she’s crying. I’m there when she needs someone to move her stuff out of her dorm. I’m there when she needs someone to fix her printer. I’m there when she doesn’t want to eat alone. I’m tending to her every need. I’m her girlfriend without the rewards.

I want the goddamn rewards.